Yes, Heather, there is a Santa Claus.
I wish it were an easy YES! For SURE!
That is one loaded question. Let me contemplate...
He's doing what makes him happy. I suppose he could be doing something that has equal pay to what he's making now with no chance of financial reward later.
Unfortunately for myself and all those around me, I have moved into a bitter stage, is there a bitter stage or am I just bitter? Either way, I was really very excited to have an income his internship year. That money in Oklahoma made me feel filthy rich. I was so happy. We put $4000 freaking dollars into savings that year! Since moving to a high cost of living area and anticipating an EVEN HIGHER cost of living move in the close future, income has become an area of deep contention for me. I throw my fist in air and yell, "How can people live on this?!" every two weeks.
Is it worth it right now? No.
The mountain of debt over our heads. The destroyed credit (with our amount of debt we can't even qualify for a gas card!) Having to turn to our parents at 33 for help when we can't make it work. (I never thought I'd be in that place.) Relying on WIC to get by... still. Feeling totally unaccomplished at my 10 year class reunion. Being helpless to make ends meet. Trying to make mommy's "Totally Free Summer!" sound like fun. Putting water in the shampoo. Watching the government take over health care and threaten all we have been sacrificing for all this time. Worrying that my son or daughter won't make the ------ team in high school because we couldn't afford to get them in --------- classes at a young enough age. Or that they'll never learn to play the -------- well because they started too late.
Will it be worth it? I don't know.
I'll have to revisit this place once we are done and assess the situation from a new perspective. Sometimes I have a warped perception of what our financial situation really will be. Will I really be able to buy what ever I want at the grocery store? Will we be able to take family trips without blinking an eye? Will I have a home that I love? Will I be able to buy new clothes? Really? new ones? From, like, Dillards? I just can't even comprehend at this time.
So, is it worth it? Gosh, I hope so.
Well, thanks for being honest! :) I certainly hope it is worth it and know that we are up against a really hard, long, financially and emotionally draining ordeal, and that we don't even know the half of it as we are still treading the med school water. Hopefully you can report that life gets better as time goes on.
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ReplyDeleteI totally get that way about groceries! My DREAM is to be able to have enough money to walk in to Whole Foods and buy everything I want. I do have a lot of clothes from Dillard's because I used to work there many moons ago and you can't beat the employee discount (25%) paired with their semi annual sales. Hell, I might try to get a job at Whole Foods now that I think of it.
ReplyDeletebuying orange juice {the good stuff} and not getting pissed off when my husband drinks too much of it. that would be nice, too. hmm... essentially not getting pissed off when we eat our groceries. buying food and eating it and not thinking too much about it. yes. that's what will be nice.
ReplyDeleteI hope it's all worth it.
ReplyDeleteIt's posts like this that make me thank god I found this site.
I used to be so proud of my high credit score and the fact that I had a savings. Yes, that has all gone into us moving into NYC (an annoyingly overpriced area!) and trying to understand how I end up paying $50 for 6 items at the grocery store. And figuring out when to pay rent, because one of our paychecks has to go to utilities and daily bills, while the other goes to rent.
I dream of being able to just buy Whatever. I. Want. But, I think to myself that even if we get there, I just know that I'll be so used to worrying about money all the time, I don't think I'd be able to let myself go and splurge.
@ Kate and Stephanie - I can't even tell you how much emotion I wrap up into groceries! The cost of them. How quickly they get eaten. Whether the eater really savored each bite properly...
ReplyDelete@ Tahmina - I was SOOOO smug when we finished medical school with no credit card debt. Boy was I eating my own smugness come residency! Residency has put us in credit card wreckage I'm sure it will take years to dig out of. None of it was even consumer debt, it was interviews and plane tickets and moving costs. Ugggg!
Savings and a great credit score. Those were the days.
I'm impressed ladies. While I am super excited to be free to buy whatever I want in a grocery store, I can't wait to eat out more! Go to nice places and not look for the cheapest thing. Order appetizers! Maybe even a drink other than water. Oooo, that sounds fun!
ReplyDeleteAnd I totally have the same thoughts about my kids and their sports, musical instruments, etc. I can't wait to get Jaden in an art class. Of course, by the time we make money, will it be too late??
ReplyDeleteThere is definitely a bitter stage. For me, it was more about family time than finances. I worked throughout med school and training because I wanted him to be able to enjoy normal family life during his downtime. And it would piss me off to no end when his good nature would let him get taken advantage of so that other people could have family time. Made my sacrifices feel marginalized because I want to be selfish and not give a rat's ass about someone else's family. How many family dinners were missed because he was covering, how many times she was disappointed that daddy didn't pick her up like he said he would because someone else was not holding up their end.
ReplyDeleteWe made it through 8 years with our credit scores intact and no debt other than student loans. Yet I was still bitter. I think this life just takes its toll regardless.
dying laughing about savoring the bite properly. did he really enjoy the oj?? we can quench thirst with water. but oj needs to be enjoyed in a small juice glass. no guzzling. water it down for the kids. they don't know better.
ReplyDeleteSo glad I am not the only one that goes to extremes to stretch groceries. Each can of Diet Coke I drink has no less than one tray (12 cubes) of ice so that I can drink on it all morning. DH dilutes his Juicy Juice. I've started cooking more with tuna, eggs, and beans because they are cheap proteins. Also, I've gone old school and consider 3 ounces of meat an actual serving (the old me could easily put away an 8 ounce steak, with sides).
ReplyDeleteJust charged another $900 on the old credit card TODAY to pay for the boards to be taken over 1 YEAR from today! Medicine!!! [fist back in air]
ReplyDeleteWhat boards? Just so you know, we were able to get the program to cover one set of subspecialty boards ($2750 a pop!). So, check with the program, they may be able to help. Many don't advertise.
ReplyDelete@ Wendy: I think Stacie means step 3?
ReplyDeleteMy fiance is in the middle of taking it right now. His first day was today and yes, it cost $900 to pay for them. Add in switching at the last minute because he wasn't ready (he was originally supposed to take it back in February) which cost another $200, tutoring sessions, cab fare to and from testing center, etc = about $1500. And if he doesn't pass? Take it again. FML. Oh and yeah, that will cost another $900 to sign up again.
@ Wendy and Tahmina let me ask him. ok- Anesthesiology Boards - as in "Board Certified Anesthesiologist." Taken right after the end of residency. Yea, and if you don't pass you pay again. Yikes! Study hard boys!
ReplyDeleteWow, those are cheap! I remember Internal Medicine was $1200, Cardiology was $1800, Interventional was $2750 and Vascular will be $2500 (I think).
ReplyDeleteYep, study hard is right!
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ReplyDeleteI know how you feel. My husband's an intern and we started using cash to help control the budget but it is so stressful. And I started writing a monthly menu that has a lot of freezing and days where I don't cook so left overs never go bad. I get 300 in cash for a month's groceries, so that's what I do it on. In KY as a family of 3 his monthly salary is just above WIC qualifications, but I'm due and Dec and we are going to apply for it after the new year as a family of 4 on the intern salary and we can get it for a year (maybe more, not sure what the 2nd year raise will do to our monthly income, which is what KY looks at). I written about our budget and posted my menu's on my blog, http://aresidentswifeinky.blogspot.com/. I'm more then willing to send anyone the recipes to the menu if they are interested in some of the meals!
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