Friday, June 24, 2011
That's how I feel and it is only Day 1 of DH's PGY-1. Only, minus the Diet Coke because right now we are SCRIMPING until that first holy paycheck. You know, the first paycheck after four years of watching your liabilities quickly outnumber your assets. But allow me to introduce myself. I'm Kate and my husband is going into Radiology. This is his intern year, and we'll be in Pennsylvania. Then we're moving to the New England area for the actual Radiology part. Yes, DH was one of the few poor souls at his school that got matched at different places. Regardless of our circumstances, we are grateful :)
I will admit, I miss my husband already. I felt like I was saying goodbye to my child on the first day of school. And I don't even have kids yet. I loaded DH's backpack full of nutritious granola bars and a plain turkey sandwich. I packed the steth and phone charger. I expressed worry that he may not get 30 minutes to eat lunch. I shudder at the thought of my husband going a whole day in the ER with only a turkey sandwich and granola bar. I know he'll be back at midnight, but that is another worry. DH must drive sleepily across town, after fetching his car from a questionable parking garage. Why do they make them go through this? Why didn't they tell them if they get food during their two week orientation? Why doesn't my husband know if he can eat or not during his 12 hour shift? Why can't he have access to a refrigerator so I can put some cheese + mayo on his turkey sandwich?!
Residency is hard. I don't care what anyone says. For years, in medical school, we both lived in loan utopias, DH with his med school loans, and me with my law school loans. But since DH did not get scholarships, his debt will inevitably take the greater part of a lifetime to repay. I'm just grateful that mine can be taken care of in a few years. They don't tell you about that transitional time when your loans run out sometime around graduation in May and you are waiting desperately for that first paycheck, which will likely come at the end of July.
While DH and I will not starve, and are more fortunate than many, the money issues are stressful. But nothing is more stressful and frustrating than hearing "oh but you're a doctor, you're making a ton of money." The first idiot to tell us that in Pennsylvania was our landlord. I wanted to snap back "if we're so rich, why are we living in a crappy town house where our neighbors get Section 8?" Nobody understands.
Anyways, I have been keeping things here as calm and quiet and organized as possible. The place is spotless. I make sure DH does not have to do any chores, except take out the trash. His clothes are pressed, there are healthy snacks in the fridge, and I have been letting DH watch whatever he wants on TV. I even told him last night, that if after his first day he decides not to be a doctor, I would love him and support him no matter what. Our household has been a drama free zone all week, and I'm hoping this pays off. I hope DH has a decent night in the ER. I hope we get to have lunch tomorrow before he has to go back. I hope I can buy a 24 pack of Diet Coke. I hope.