Thursday, August 11, 2011

Jealousy is in the eye of the beholder

It's been a full year since being home.  This week while visiting my hometown I had a good friend come over and bring her children to swim.  Back when we left home (after med school) to seek our fortune (residency) this particular friend had it all goin' on.  She had a lavish home, Land Rover, Boat w/ accompanying wave runners etc...  I remember thinking, "Gosh, this is what life is like when your husband isn't in medicine!"  I was happy for her good fortune with slight pangs of envy. 

The kids played as I gave her an update on our life status and told her about our plans for then next few years for residency and fellowship.  I shared my frustration of having been married for 11 years and always qualifying for government assistance.  And about how tight money always is.

While visiting I found out that she and her husbands' house flipping business had flopped.  She had to sell everything they had - cars, boats and house and she is leaving her 4 kids with hubby at night to wait tables (this is after she quit her night job at Sonic).  They are now living in someone else's foreclosing house until the bank takes it over.  I was devastated for her! 

She looked and me and said, "Stacie, I am so jealous of you."  ME?  of all people to be jealous of?  Me?  Did you not hear about how in debt we are and broke we've been over that last 11 years?  How could that be possible?  I finally asked, "Why on Earth would you be jealous of us?"

"Because you have a plan."  She said.

Oh.  Interesting.  hmmm

Monday, August 8, 2011

audience participation - MYTHS

okay girlies, i think it's time to have some fun here. after reading Mrs. F's latest post, i started to think about the Doctor's Wife Myths. so here's how this is going to work. i'm going to start by putting down a few of my favorite myths. then, you're going to jump in and continue the list in the comments sections. it seems like there are just a few, but then, once you start thinking about it, there are actually a LOT of them. so here we go!

  1. all Dr. Wives are blonde, skinny as hell, tanned, and constantly "going to lunch" or "the club"
  2. we're all about the benjamins
  3. we wear tennis uniforms all the time
  4. we have 1 or 2 gratuitous kids for the sake of having someone to spend money on, but neither the Dr. or the Dr. Wife really care about their kids
  5. our houses are all GINORMOUS (even the psychiatrists, pediatricians, and residents)
  6. we're either the practice wife or the trophy wife
  7. we have no limit and no balance on our credit cards
  8. there's a housekeeper/maid and nanny to take care of everything messy in my life
  9. the hardest decision we have to make is what cocktail to order next
  10. we're all lushes and have prozac/valium problems
  11. we married for the money
  12. our DrH is sleeping with the hot nurse but we dont care (because of the money)
  13. over the top vacations, massages, mani/pedis, country clubs, unlimited clothing budgets, and cute pool boys come standard.
alright ladies... take it from here!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Hiding Your Spouse's Profession

I need advice!  I have been interviewing for jobs because I moved to a new city.  Naturally, one of the questions that comes up from interviewers/recruiters is "What brings you to this city?"  I say "My husband got a job here."  Most people are satisfied with that question.  I'd say like 60% will stop there.  The other 40% are unable to resist and are *dying* to know what he does.  I made the mistake of telling one recruiter at an employment agency that he is a resident.  The woman just rolled her eyes at me.  I can't imagine, ever rolling my eyes at someone's response to a question that I asked them.

I got smart right away and stopped indulging these people's curiosity.  I say little pansy lines like "oh even I don't know what he does!" and employers respond well to that.  I don't want to lie, but I don't want to give them yet another reason to judge me.  You might think I'm paranoid, but I really have had people ask me what my husband does [even though I never ask others that question, ever], then roll their eyes at me, or say generally hurtful things they otherwise wouldn't say if my husband was basically any other profession.

What should I do?  How should I respond to these prospective employers?