WE matched!

yesterday was one of the biggest days of our life. as Stacie pointed out, this is one of the last "we" moments in medicine. WE found out that WE matched in orthopedics. this is a pretty big deal for our family. my husband took 3.5 years and a leap of faith in choosing this field. he debated for months between family medicine and orthopedics. it was like trying to decide whether you want cheddar cheese ruffles and oreo cookies. both delicious, but completely different flavors.

and then there was the uncertainty. despite his ROCKING step I score, great grades, awesome letters of recommendation, scott was a nervous wreck. he freaked himself out about scrambling. awful doesnt even touch it. there were so many long talks into the night - all of our conversations seemed to focus on whether or not he was a legitimate candidate. my ears prickled every time he opened his mouth. but i knew better. and i was patient.

so when the email popped up yesterday congratulating him on matching, i screamed. when he came home last night, i swear to god he looked different. he had his confidence back. he really did *look* like a doctor.

then again, maybe it was just because he was wearing his white coat and was carrying his stethoscope.

Close Call

Ben texted me this morning and said, "350 students were unmatched this year in Emergency Medicine. There are 3 spots open this year for ER in the scramble. 2 of my close friends didn't get in." He also said, "ER was the most competitive specialty this year. It had the most unmatched applicants and the fewest scramble spots." Ben's specialty is Emergency Medicine.

Thank you, Lord, for taking care of my little family! Please be with those who are trying to figure out what to do right now.

WE MATCHED!

Match Day has left us in good spirits. We found out that we did match to one of the 4 programs Ben interviewed at! Where? We won't know until Thursday, but for now, a sigh of relief that scrambling is not a nightmare we will have to face.

My faith was well-placed in my husband, as usual. I told him I was not nervous at all, that I had complete faith in him, when, okay, let's be real, yes, I was a little nervous about the possibility of having to scramble.

In this last 6 weeks, he was so full of self-doubt, and was sure his risky decision had cost us our life plan. It was a little disconcerting to see my type A, confident, smart, very successful husband worry so much about this. It is so not like him to doubt himself. Last night he was practically wearing a hole in the carpet from pacing with anxiety. This morning, when he called from his current (and LAST) rotation in medical school, he was elated! He said, "I can't tell you how much it means to me that even though I doubted myself, you always believed in me and were so supportive. I am so glad that your confidence in me was not in vain." I guess I made the right decision to keep my anxiety to myself. :)

There is no "we" in residency

Things are quite different in Residency than they were in Medical School. Stephanie's comment is true, "it's something else." Something else entirely.

I felt actively involved somehow during medical school. As he learned in medical school, I learned. Perhaps by osmosis, not sure, but I came out of there feeling ready to be a GP!

I feel completely shut out of residency. They leave, then come back hours later... days later... I know nothing, NOTHING about what Chad is doing and learning. His training is mostly hands-on behind secured doors.

Unlike a school setting where just anyone can show up and walk around, a hospital is locked up tighter than a drum. We aren't welcome there.

Things are different on the home front too. He no longer gets the free pass he did from me in medical school. I expect him to pitch in and help out with dishes and kiddos.

With Loan Utopia gone, government aid gone and private loans demanding payback, the party is over. Out goes the feast and in comes the famine.

Do take comfort. As you run the marathon it only gets harder, but you're closer to the finish line.

"We" went to Medical School

This is not something I intentionally say, like "We' are pregnant" in an effort to include or be included. It is something I say unconsciously then finding myself correcting my statement to something like, "Well, I mean he went to med school and ... I was there..."

Unless you've been the woman behind the man it is hard to explain. Many of us have been super involved from writing their application essay for them to keep up with them in their text books.

We also sold our home, packed up and moved away to go to medical school; we lived there in student housing on campus with him.

Our dear hubbies get the sympathy vote in med school, "poor guy with the fam," but we know these folks are deceived. We are the secret weapon.

While other med students have to go to school, study, shop for groceries, wash their clothes, clean their living space, take out trash, etc... Our man does not~

When Chad was in med school, my goal was for him to only need to eat, sleep and med school. It's no wonder he did so well! And I take ownership in his success. I may not have gone to class or taken his tests, but I played a huge roll in his success in medical school and his further success in getting into a competitive fellowship.

Thoughts?

Here's My Plan

Thanks for all of your ideas! I have read them, considered all angles, and thought deeply to come up with a solution.

Plan A:
We have opened up a second checking account for us to use for flexible monthly expenses such as car gas, groceries, hair cuts, oil changes, out to dinner etc... We will each have a debit card and ONE check register for reporting our spending.

The original checking account will turn into a Stock Pile fund. All fairly fixed expenses will be paid out of this account by online bill pay or autodraft. The direct deposit will go into this account. The amount allotted for flexible monthly spending will be automatically transferred into the second account. Therefore this original account should be self-sustaining with no need to touch it. All bills will get paid and extra money will be saved here for non-monthly expenses such as trips or seasonal sports for the kids as needed. This account's debit card will be shredded.

The credit card will also be shredded. Last year we paid for Christmas with our "rewards." Now I'm going into debt to pay the minimum balance. Not worth it. So not worth it. Get me out of this snow ball of disaster!!!!!

Plan B:
If we can't communicate properly and all goes to crap on the new account, I have applied for gas cards.

One debit card between us, and each of us gets a gas card!

What does your Dr.H use for purchasing power?

I've got a money question for all ya'll med spouses out there. How do you work debit cards, etc?

My husband wants a debit card so that he can buy things. I understand his desire. My question is if he's debiting and I'm debiting, how do we know how much we have to spend in the account?

Do your dr.h's carry credit cards? Cash?

How do you work this out? I would appreciate any ideas.

I am trying to revamp our finances to get us living within our means.