Thanks for all of your ideas! I have read them, considered all angles, and thought deeply to come up with a solution.
We have opened up a second checking account for us to use for flexible monthly expenses such as car gas, groceries, hair cuts, oil changes, out to dinner etc... We will each have a debit card and ONE check register for reporting our spending.
The original checking account will turn into a Stock Pile fund. All fairly fixed expenses will be paid out of this account by online bill pay or autodraft. The direct deposit will go into this account. The amount allotted for flexible monthly spending will be automatically transferred into the second account. Therefore this original account should be self-sustaining with no need to touch it. All bills will get paid and extra money will be saved here for non-monthly expenses such as trips or seasonal sports for the kids as needed. This account's debit card will be shredded.
The credit card will also be shredded. Last year we paid for Christmas with our "rewards." Now I'm going into debt to pay the minimum balance. Not worth it. So not worth it. Get me out of this snow ball of disaster!!!!!
If we can't communicate properly and all goes to crap on the new account, I have applied for gas cards.
One debit card between us, and each of us gets a gas card!