Dream House Therapy

My dream home is my happy place. My dream house is off on an acreage. More specifically it sits on 8-10 acres. This gives me enough room to ride my dream horses around.

My first home crush was on the "Father of the Bride" house.

Similarly I fell in love with the "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" house. Funny story, when in Oklahoma I got to be friends with a guy who grew up in that house. He showed me pictures with Matthew Broderick and everything.

Most recently I was watching "Dear John" on Netflix and saw this house. I had to track it down. After searching out the filming locations I found it on an Island off of South Carolina.

One of my house crushes I found on the cover of Pottery Barn about a year ago.

Weirdly enough this house is located in Napa Valley. After searching out an actual photo of this house I got a picture of what it looks like untouched by pottery barn professionals. Still lovely.

I obviously have a type. My dream home is white, with shutters, most likely a porch on front. A traditional center hall colonial farm house.

This maybe a little grander than what I have in mind, but isn't it lovely?

Is this the only horse I'll ever have?

Being at a Mayo Hub, we get a lot of visiting docs. In town right now we have a medical student family and a resident family that finishes up in June and gets to start living the dream.

We invite both over for dinner. As we are talking, the med student family is discussing the joys of loans and food stamps.

The family finishing up residency starts to talk about the lawyers and contracts etc... then she said something that haunted me nearly as much as the first time I heard about "scrambling."

The resident wife said, "Taxes will take about half, then after a $2000 a month loan payment we're not left with much afterward."

Sheesh...

This Doctor Thing is Finally Starting to Pay Off

Today Cougar, my 8 year old, busted his face (chin) while playing a pick up game of tackle football. You should have seen the other guy - 6 stitches to the head.

Chad's on call, so I throw my entourage in the SUV and head up to the Mayo ER. I page him on the way. He meets us at the ER door and by the time I've loaded the other children up in the stroller Cougar is Dermabonded all back together and ready to head home.

I felt like I had just won a boxing match or something! I was waiting for the ref to come shake my arm in the air symbolizing my first victory.

Chad's first week of residency we took a little one to the ER - it took all night and I'm still making monthly payments.

Now, our third year into this, we are finally bypassing triage and the registration desk. YES!!!!

I'm Freakin' Out a Little

See, the thing is that Ben chose to only apply at 6 schools for residency. He only got 4 interviews, and we THINK he'll match to his #1 pick as I described earlier, but how much can you really count on what you feel in all this craziness that is the interview/match process. I quietly put my 2 cents in that I thought he should apply and interview at more schools because of course, the thought of scrambling is a nightmare. His school recommended more...way more, but he is confident that for him, it isn't necessary. To him, I smile, and pretend to be completely faithful in him, while inside I'm uh, I'm freaking out in a major way, people!! What if we don't match at one of those 4 programs!? Because he was over-confident, I have to pack up all my stuff and move to ghetto, Michigan with my 2 young kids? Jackson will start school wherever we move, and we planned on having another baby that first year of residency! Where we go is kind of important for us, too! PLUS, apparently the school Ben wants to rank #1 is the most sought after program in Texas!

On the other hand, a friend from school interviewed there recently, and came back saying several of the residents and program directors he met with asked him if he knew Ben and told him how much they really liked him. (He rotated and interviewed there in September and made some friends in high places.) Ben's friend said he was glad he could say he knew Ben so well because he felt like that gave him an advantage!

So....I just keep going back and forth inside, but I don't dare tell Ben (like he needs that kind of wife drama from me right now.) I can't wait until Match Day! I NEED to know!

Picking a Dream

At some point we have to narrow down our aspirations. Pick from our field of dreams, a good noble dream and go forward.

Much like the match process, there is pain in letting go of the other dreams. In the medicine match you have 10-15 possible lives ahead. Yes, it's nice to find out which road you will be taking, but there is also pain in letting the other 11 go.

For me it was acting. The dream of going to NY or LA and pursuing an acting career. I also had a dream of a family. My senior year of college I chose to marry my love and for a while I thought I could have both my dreams.

I got a job working at a television station. It was not what I was really wanting to do. Along came a little baby and I quit my job. I found many opportunities to get involved in independent film. This was much closer to what I really wanted. Then another little blessing came along. I still kept hoping that residency or something would take us to LA.

I was at film festivals all over the region. I finally flew out to LA after the baby was born and tried to network and rub elbows with the right people. I had a great time, but it did not seem to further my acting career any.

I always planned to pursue acting until I turned 40, but at 33 years old, as a mother of 3 in Jacksonville, FL, I am finding that it is time for me to let that dream fizzle for the sake of my own happiness.

I am grateful that I've been so blessed in my dream of being deeply in love with my husband. I am also grateful for my 3 beautiful children. Like in the movie "17 Again," I don't know that if given the opportunity I would change a single thing.

Except buying that house in Tennessee.