Monday, December 20, 2010

How long would you go it alone?

One business week. That's about my limit.

This weekend I was talking to a Dr. who's getting ready to head off to fellowship. This Dr.'s husband is not going with this person and has no plans of visiting throughout the year. The hubby has told Dr. that if she wants to see him during her fellowship year, she is welcome to come back and visit. Is this normal?! I sure hope not.

This situation has been weighing on my mind for 3 days now, and it still makes me sad.

Even when it's cost us tons of money (pregnant me and the kids tagging along to his rotation in France) (Or before our house sold -still hasn't btw- when he changed specialties.) I have gladly followed Chad around for our entire marriage.

A good friend and I were discussing this scenario and she was saying that if her Dr. H took off for a year fellowship without them, she'd be chasing him in her car calling out, "Hey! Wait! You forgot US!"


  1. Alright, if he has got a job he loves and doesn't want to lose I can kind of understand, especially if she will be back in a year. But not visiting...that feels weird. Maybe he is fed-up with the whole process or whatever- but I'm with you, I don't really understand...My home is wherever my husband is, even if it's just for a year.

  2. Let me add that she told me his job allows him to work from home, and he could do it from just about anywhere.

  3. Ohhhhhhh let me tell you - if I could be with S in the same place RIGHT NOW, we would be. Thousands and thousands of dollars have been spent to sustain this relationship, and it's because we know that in the end - together is where we want to be. If we were married, there is not a single doubt in my mind that we would be in the same place, at the same time -NO.MATTER.WHAT.
    No, it's not normal. And YES this would be weighing on my mind and bothering me too!

  4. Some people have to be apart, as much as they hate to be.

  5. Nope. Hate it. And we might find ourselves in that situation because I think I am going to have to stay behind until our house sells when Ben starts residency. We've talked about keeping our house (since it may take a while to sell) and just having him get a cheap apt since where we think we are going is only 2 hours from where we are now. I just don't know. I can't be away from him that long and the boys would miss him like crazy. Plus, I don't like the idea of him having his place and us having ours. Feels wrong. But to CHOOSE to be apart when it isn't necessary - there is something going on there, I think.