Flowers for Algernon Phenomenon (Taboo Subject Warning)

In the story “Flowers for Algernon” Charlie falls in love with his former teacher, Miss Kinnian, but as his intelligence increases, he surpasses her intellectually and they become unable to relate to each other.

Story Summary http://www.sparknotes.com/lit/algernon/summary.html

Once med school was over and I began being invited to the “real” doctors wives group in town I noticed something. These long-time wives seemed to have a common thread. It seemed like every Dr. Wife I met was a doctor herself, a pharmacist, a lawyer, an optometrist or a dentist. (I’m sure there were exceptions to this rule; I just didn’t meet any.)

I had thought myself sufficiently educated. I had worked a while after college and gone back for my masters and finished that up the May before medical school started.

I won’t lie. I felt SERIOUSLY undereducated around this crowd. So undereducated that I studied for and took the LSAT thinking I would at least get a Juris Doctorate. But with 3 small children at home this was a pipe dream, and I gave it up.

I mention “Flowers for Algernon” because I thought of this story frequently while Chad was in Medical School. He seemed so young and at times VERY immature his first year of medical school. I was by far the mature adult in the relationship.

The process was gradual. As medical school went on and he started residency he became quite different. Not only did he gain knowledge and wisdom, he gained maturity. Family and friends call him for advice now frequently and I turn to him for advice as well. I literally felt him passing me by intellectually.

Let me just say many of the smartest people I know personally never went or finished college. However, I am curious if anyone else has felt insecure about our husband surpassing us in education?

Will he get bored with my childish blabbering and go marry someone else he can have a real conversation with?

On the other hand, I did notice that he named his fantasy football team “Huge Hairy Ball Sack.” Perhaps I don’t have anything to worry about.

Where NOT to live

Lately, like since residency started, Dr.H and I have gone round and round about where we want to settle. The only thing I know for sure is anywhere we look is either:

Too Hot
Too Cold
Too Expensive

So I would love any feedback you could give me on anywhere I should definitely take OFF our list of future hometowns.

I'll start. The worst place medicine has taken us is Oklahoma City. It's windy, it's ugly, the people were... uggh... Okay, so the ladies I met in Junior League were super, but the people I met a church were bizarre. My biggest fear for match day was seeing Oklahoma City anywhere on that piece of paper.

Where is the worst place medicine, or life, has taken you?

The New Girl ... again

In a perfect world our Dr.H would go to med school close to home, stay there for residency and go into practice in our hometown and we move into the house across the street from our parents.

I was talking to a good friend, resident wife, who we’ll call Jane Fairfax today. This woman is one most elegant women I have come across in my life: kind, beautiful, down to Earth and smart.

She was sharing with me her struggle being the new girl in her new community. It dawned on me that if Jane Fairfax, whom I imagine some women might give their right arm to call a friend, was having trouble being the new girl, she can’t be the only one.

As the wife of the resident we are too often the new girl. We were the new girl at med school. Now we are the new girl in the location of the residency. We’ll be the new girl yet again in 4-8 years.

Has anyone found anything that helps with this “new” experience. Is there any way to make the “new” thing less painful?

Free Trips to Conferences

Lately it seems like all the residents around here are scoring free trips to really cool places. My friend Lori just got back from San Diego with her Dr.H for a conference where he was a "delegate." Now they are turning around and heading to NYC on another trip courtesy of the Mayo Clinic for him to present a case report.

So far we haven't gotten to benefit from the whole conference thing, but we are planning to go to Vancouver in May for Dr.H to present a case report.

Has anyone else gotten to go to a conference in a cool place, courtesy of the residency program? Was it fun or a bore?

One Cool Thing about Residency

So, here's the thing - I LOVE the free recruitment dinners!!!! Going on "date night" is nearly impossible during this season considering walking out the door is about $20-$40 in babysitting off the bat. Then add the cost of a date (at least $30 for dinner + any activity) and you're better off picking something up from RedBox and putting the kids to bed early.

I love the recruitment dinners because all I have to pay for is the babysitter. Yea, you've got to shoot the breeze with strangers and be on your best behavior, but HEY, I'm at home and never have anyone to talk to anyways, so it's cool.

It's one little perk I appreciate.

The Wrong Mailing List

Dr.H did his first year of residency in surgery. Boy was that a doosey! Since then he has been constantly recruited for surgery positions via mail.

This is not what we want. We want him to be recruited in Anesthesiology! Any ideas for how to get on the right mailing list for his specialty?

The Hardest Time of the Week

I am so grateful to have a husband who works hard at work and works hard at church. In fact, he works so hard at church that he leaves for church 2 hours before the rest of us.
The most difficult time of the week is the hour before church begins. There is no other time of the week that everyone in the family has to be ready to go, looking their best ... simultaneously ...

Made breakfast. Doing good. Time to walk out door for church.

Get church bag together, gather crayons, pencils and activity books.

I get Brock dressed, uh oh, where are his shoes? Search house. Cougar knew all along.

I get Juliet dressed, uh oh, she sneezed ... a big messy sneeze.

Brock found a sucker somewhere and it is now all over him. Clean that up.

Cougar says he's ready, but has failed to remember, socks and shoes, or brushing his teeth or hair.

I pull my clothes on. We head out door. I go for my church bag, but it's gone! While I was pulling my clothes on Juliet took by bag and dumped the whole thing out on the floor of her room. Pick it all up.

Brock won't leave. Pretend to leave him. He screams. I go back in to get... huh, can't remember.

Oh yea, my purse.

Shoot, I forgot snacks. Church starts in 1 minute. Crap. Should I even bother? Well, we are all dressed.

It's not all roses.

I was just telling a good friend:

"So many of the writers on the DoctorWives blog seem have an 'all roses' experience and that just hasn't been my experience. It's been a hard, lonely, expensive, humbling, and trying experience. I also have a VERY hard time seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. Some people can ride on knowing its all going to be worth it one day, but I live in the now and have a hard time imagining the fruitful future.

I think that there are others whom have not had the "all roses" experience as well, so I post my frustrations along with my victories. It's no fun to struggle alone! That's why I've tried to be real and share my real thoughts and feelings candidly. I will think twice before doing it again."