Tuesday, November 29, 2011

So tired; so over it

Oh so tired.  Everytime I sit down to blog, I am too tired to collect my thoughts and try to rationally organize them into a readable format. 

Part of that is being 8 months pregnant.

The other part is being so tired of residency.
I officially have 10 months left as a resident's wife. 

I love where we live.  I am so glad I've had the opportunity in my life to spend 3 years on the seashore.  My kids have loved every second of it. 

What exhausts my mind is constantly being short on money.  Trying to get blood from turnips.  There is just too much month for the money, each and every month.

I am aching for relief. 

We are anticipating our move at the end of residency with mixed feelings.  

I am trying to figure out how to take -nothing- and move our family of 6 to Washington DC for fellowship. 

My hubby is so excited to be a fellow and thinks -very little- and stresses -none- about how this is going to happen.  Of course he doesn't stress, because he knows that he can go about his business and my stressing will eventually result in my coming up with a solution.  It always does.

We decided at the start of residency that we didn't want to take out any more loans.  We took out lots during medical school.  Our other friends here HAVE taken out loans during residency and they never seem stressed or strapped like I feel.  We ended up so behind at one point that Chad eventually went to his family for a loan.  It got us part way out of the hole, but I'm striving to dig us out the rest of the way in time to save some money for the move. 

I think it has just come down to being over it.  Over residency that is.  Only 10 months premature.


  1. I am so with you! It is exhausting, and we are married to similar men.... he is happily optimistic that everything will just fall into place and because I'm the one squeezing the turnips I'm pretty sure nothing will happen by itself if I don't do something. I am so sorry. What kind of loans can you take out as a resident? I didn't think there were any that didn't have to be paid back immediately (like other peoples loans). We were in the same boat, only I wish we had taken out lots during med school (didn't) and when we really could have used some - couldn't afford to pay for them. Light at the end of the tunnel, at least we are counting in months instead of years. But, like you, we are doing a fellowship too..... so it's not really over yet. Hang in there, and congratulations on your upcoming delivery.

  2. The loan my hubby looked at was for $30,000 for residency and it was a pay back immediately for $300 per month. So basically you got around $600-$700 per month of residency (if you set the amount aside to supplement income monthly), but had to immediately send back $300 of it for a loan payment. Since that's about how much we are paying in loan payment that are due now it would just be robbing Peter to pay Paul so we declined.

  3. While my family was in town we went to a movie and I was able to use my husband's residency ID to get us $4 movie tickets. My sister said, "For that cheap why don't you take the kids to the movies more often?" How do you explain that entertainment money has to come out of food money or house money or heating the house money? Which would you choose because for us those three come before everything else.

  4. Well, we are now in that same boat. We got our first bill for loan repayment this week, but since Ben gets a salary now, we no longer qualify for government assistance. Thankfully, we had saved a substantial amount of money from my pre-k that I ran for three years and took out more student loan money than we needed and saved it just in case. We have JUST enough money to make it till Ben can start moonlighting (at a regular doctor hourly rate) in a year, but I have to keep two kids a month from 9-5:30 if we want to take any vacations, which we do. I have one kid now, 7 weeks after delivery, lol, which makes my two boys, my infant girl and another 4 year old boy. But ER has been cake as far as residency goes. Ben really only has 2 months of rotations as an intern that have been bad schedules. Next one starts tomorrow. :( All the month of November he was scheduled to work 7-5pm, but many days he was home early if he even had to go in at all. We have only 2.5 years to go now and we are done!!

    P.S. WOW! I can't believe how far along you are already! I didn't think you were so close behind me! I hope it has flown by for you, too! Congratulations! and Good luck!!

  5. @ Maggie - going to the movies is, like, my favorite thing in life. Yet, we just went to the movies for the first time in about a year while my in-laws were in town. They paid for us and took the kids to a kids movie at the same time. I feel like we can't even afford the weekly $1 old kids movies in summer. If it's not free, I can't afford it. Sometimes even if it's free, I can't afford the gas to get there.

    @ Colleen, we have some loans in repayment too :(. We still qualify for WIC, but only WIC and only because I'm preggo w/ #4. I'm sorry you're having to watch kids still. Ugh. I don't have your patience to care for other peoples children. My kids keep me fulled up on busy!

  6. right now im really hating the fact that i cant justify spending the $40-$50 on a maternity coat. just because it was snowing yesterday and it's in the 30s today doesnt mean that there's enough money lying around to spend on such extravagances. did you guys ever spend money on maternity outfits? i was working until i went into labor with my first, so i was able to buy some stuff. but they're almost all work clothes and they're for a summer pregnancy. so while it's cold as hell up here for the next 3-4 months i havent been able to bring myself to buy a damn coat. lame.